Jail

So I was in the store picking up some beer and ciggarrettes when these two little kids came up to me.
"do you know where babys come from?" and I laughed.
"yeah, why?"
"our parents won't tell us and we want to know. can you tell us?" i just want to go home! fuck...
"ok so you have a guy and a girl and they have sex, and the guy doesn't wear a condom, then you have a baby" they were looking at me weirdly.
"sex?"
"ya...."
"whats sex?"
"when you fuck a girl"
"You said a bad word!" Why was I even talking to these kids??
"ok when you are turned on and you put your dick in her pussy. thats sex" haha I didn't know how to explain it to them.
Then some lady walked up to all of us. "what the hell are you talking about infront of my kids?"
"uhh..." she started dialing. shit -.-
she called in the cops and they took me in for harrasment... but im only locked up for 2 days. fucking dumbass kids...

hockey night

I haven't been able to write a post in a while so I'll catch you up on a few things first. On Jan 1st at midnight I married the most beautiful girl on the planet. I am so lucky, Blair I love you :) It was a pretty awesome wedding... a lot of partying... haha. Also if you don't know, we are having another kid. .... somebody should make sure that we are havin protected sex when we are drunk! fuck. haha. anyways...

So yesturday Blair, Katie, Soda and I were gonna have a couples night. But then Katie thought of just Blair and her go out, while Soda and I stay at my house and hang out... but watch Blaze. It was a good idea because the hockey game was on. So we were just drinking some beer and eating pizza that we got delivered. The pizza girl was pretty hot I think i might have tipped her to much but as I recall SODA made me! haha. We watched my favorite team, NewYork Rangers, play Carolina. I fuckin hate Carolina so we were getting kinda loud yelling at the TV and cracking more beer open so we could throw the cans at the wall (my tv is to nice to throw cans at it :p) Soda threw a peice of pizza on the tv -.- haha i made him clean it off. So the rangers lost 4-1. But we also watched the Dallas Stars play because thats my next favorite team since its the closest to Tulsa, and its Sodas favorite team. So we watched them kick the Oilers ass. But on 2nd intermition Soda was like "Wheres Blaze?"
"ooh shit! I havent seen him since like... 4 hours ago"
"No he watched the first period of the rangers game"
"fuuckk man i dont even remember!"
We started looking for him franticly. In couch cushins and behind the window blinds. I checked in the cupboards and cabnits. Soda checked the toilet and shower. Then I was like "do you think he maybe got into the fridge....??"
"FUCK HE PROBBALY DID!!!! HES GONNA HAVE FROST BITE" soda freaked out and ran to the fridge but slipped on some water that was spilled on the ground and fell on his back. I couldnt stop laughing. I opened the fridge. Damnit no kid.
"Shit man we lost him!" i said.
"We didnt look in the masterbedrooms toilet!" soda exclaimed.
We ran across the house to my room and ran into the bathroom but I thought I saw something on my bed so i stropped quickly, but soda didnt have the fast reflexes that i have and crashed into me then hitting his head on the wall. I looked on the bed and there was Blaze all curled up and sleeping.
"Fuck ya we found him!" soda said kinda loud.
"fuck we have to be quiet hes sleeping" im pretty sure i was talkin just as loud.
i picked him up and put him in his crib. "ok whatever happens, we did not lose him!" soda said.
"for sure. ok perfect timing third period is about to start."
So they came home at around 1:30 and we were playin NHL 11. I was kickin sodas ass. blair asked me how blaze was and i told her he was super good hardly made any noise.. hahha yeah we didnt tell them we lost him..

christmas? I think so

So we had a fucking awesome party at our house on christmas. Everyone thats awesome/important was there. fuckin good food.. we ordered a lot of it haha it was great. There was a bit of a food fight... And of course we had the dirty chinese gift exchange... i was half drunk so i dont remember what y'all got. So tell me in the comments. I got hand cuffs that were fuzzy and ya..its gonna be fun ;p. I remember people getting lingrie, viborators, playboys, and pretty much everything. So we partyed hard and shit. Oh and we fuckin played street hockey some of us. I kicked ass, and everyone wanted to be on my team haha. Exept then Soda was about to shoot on open net so i fuckin ran to save it and he canned me hard with his stick. fuck im still mad at him for that haha. Then the next morning my bathroom fuckin reaked. And turns out someone puked on the floor and whiped it up with a towel and hung it back up. It was fuckin disgusting haha but i kinda laughed. but whoever you were im gonna fuckin beat u. So tell me who it was :p

So i guess i should add this in. I got Blair and I a honeymoon in vegas. And also got her a white gold necklace thats pretty fuckin kool. And Blaze got a park with a swing and all that plus a slide that goes into a swimming pool. And a little dirtbike.
And I got all you mother fuckers a gift bag. with a ..surprise inside.

Oh How I Love Fighting

I was just walking down the street when I thought I saw that kid Bryce on the other side. I took a double take. It was him. I ran across the street and told him never to touch Brook again. He smirked and asked me what I was gonna do about it. So i smirked back and laughed. I then punched him in the face and started beating him up. When I knew I was about to win I got a little cocky and threw him on the ground and said, "thats what I'm gonan do about it" then all the sudden he whipped out a blade and fuckin just about stabbed me on my leg. I quickly reached into my back pocket. My. blade. wasn't. there. what. the. fuck. I then had to think of a plan. I tried to grab his wrist and he tried to get up at the same time. THe knifecut my leg. I grabbed the fuckin knife and ripped it outta his hand. I fuckin threw that fucker on the ground and put the blade to his throat. "Don't you ever come near here again. Or you're dead." I told him. He fuckin ran. I then whiped the blade on my shirt and walked home.
"Hey Blair I got a new knife" I said.
"She looked down the stairs at me, "What the fuck Dally??!" I looked down at my leg, haha there was quite a bit of blood.
"Oh I just got in a fight. Kicked that Bryce guys ass. Brook should be safe for a while"

I came home from work at 5AM. Everyone was sleeping, I had something to eat then went to the washrrom before I went to bed. I stepped into the bathroom and went to the toilet... as I was pissng I looked over and saw like fucking 10 pregnancy tests on the counter. I was all "What the fuck?"So I looked at them. positve.positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. What?? Who the hell is pregnant in my house. I know. But how? I'm pretty sure I almost fainted or something. I was freaking out... I was almost shaking when I walked into our bedroom and saw Blair sleeping. Oh my fucking god... this has to be a joke. I can't handle another one. It's a joke I know it. Is it April Fools day today? Fuck its december. god fucking damnit why cant it be april. I crawled into bed and tried not to wake her up. I couldn't get to sleep. Finally she woke up it must have been at least 2 or 3 hours later. She looked at me.
"I saw the tests..."

worst phonecall ever

I was just sitting at home watching hockey. It was getting late. They must be really busy I guess. Is what I told myself. I waited,kept lookign at the clock. Blaze should be in bed by now... I started to get a bad feeling and around two in the morning I got a phone call.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Dallas get to the hospital now!" It was Jamie. I hung up the phone and ran to my truck. I have no idea how I got there. I don't remember the drive, I dont even remember putting on my shoes. I dont even remember if I actually parked in a parking spot or if I left my truck in the middle of the street. I just know I ran into the hospital and asked for Blair Matthews and Rhiley Winston.
The lady told me to calm down. I might have told her where to go... and some other words that wherent very nice. Thats when Blairs mom and Jamie walked in.
The lady said somethin bout them being in surgery and we couldnt see them til morning. I just sat there the whole night. Waiting on one of those chairs. I didnt move. Finally it was morning.
I went into the room they were in. They were both sleeping, well Blair was in a coma. I walked up to her and kissed er and told her she has to be strong and heal. I went up to Blaze and tucked him in. I remmeber thinking Why them and not me. Rhileys done nothing bad in his life and this is what he gets. I was just so fuckin happy they were alive.
A couple days later I got to take Blaze home. He was happy to be out of that place, but he misses him mom. I take him to the hospital every day to see her.

*awesome title inserted here*

I finally finshed our house on Friday. So Saturday Blair and I spent all day moving boxes and unpacking them. One thing I'll miss is that swimming pool in my building :p now you guys can't sneak in and use it anymore haha. Once all our shit was put away and clean we picked up blaze from sodas. He looked really happy when we showed him the house. Hopfully we can reach him to walk soon then he won't have to crawl everywhere. Shr!mp loves the house especially since we got that massive yard now. Lucky dog haha. So Blair and I were thinking of having a Christmas supper at our house this year. To break it in :p. So you're all invited.