christmas? I think so

So we had a fucking awesome party at our house on christmas. Everyone thats awesome/important was there. fuckin good food.. we ordered a lot of it haha it was great. There was a bit of a food fight... And of course we had the dirty chinese gift exchange... i was half drunk so i dont remember what y'all got. So tell me in the comments. I got hand cuffs that were fuzzy and ya..its gonna be fun ;p. I remember people getting lingrie, viborators, playboys, and pretty much everything. So we partyed hard and shit. Oh and we fuckin played street hockey some of us. I kicked ass, and everyone wanted to be on my team haha. Exept then Soda was about to shoot on open net so i fuckin ran to save it and he canned me hard with his stick. fuck im still mad at him for that haha. Then the next morning my bathroom fuckin reaked. And turns out someone puked on the floor and whiped it up with a towel and hung it back up. It was fuckin disgusting haha but i kinda laughed. but whoever you were im gonna fuckin beat u. So tell me who it was :p

So i guess i should add this in. I got Blair and I a honeymoon in vegas. And also got her a white gold necklace thats pretty fuckin kool. And Blaze got a park with a swing and all that plus a slide that goes into a swimming pool. And a little dirtbike.
And I got all you mother fuckers a gift bag. with a ..surprise inside.

Oh How I Love Fighting

I was just walking down the street when I thought I saw that kid Bryce on the other side. I took a double take. It was him. I ran across the street and told him never to touch Brook again. He smirked and asked me what I was gonna do about it. So i smirked back and laughed. I then punched him in the face and started beating him up. When I knew I was about to win I got a little cocky and threw him on the ground and said, "thats what I'm gonan do about it" then all the sudden he whipped out a blade and fuckin just about stabbed me on my leg. I quickly reached into my back pocket. My. blade. wasn't. there. what. the. fuck. I then had to think of a plan. I tried to grab his wrist and he tried to get up at the same time. THe knifecut my leg. I grabbed the fuckin knife and ripped it outta his hand. I fuckin threw that fucker on the ground and put the blade to his throat. "Don't you ever come near here again. Or you're dead." I told him. He fuckin ran. I then whiped the blade on my shirt and walked home.
"Hey Blair I got a new knife" I said.
"She looked down the stairs at me, "What the fuck Dally??!" I looked down at my leg, haha there was quite a bit of blood.
"Oh I just got in a fight. Kicked that Bryce guys ass. Brook should be safe for a while"

I came home from work at 5AM. Everyone was sleeping, I had something to eat then went to the washrrom before I went to bed. I stepped into the bathroom and went to the toilet... as I was pissng I looked over and saw like fucking 10 pregnancy tests on the counter. I was all "What the fuck?"So I looked at them. positve.positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. What?? Who the hell is pregnant in my house. I know. But how? I'm pretty sure I almost fainted or something. I was freaking out... I was almost shaking when I walked into our bedroom and saw Blair sleeping. Oh my fucking god... this has to be a joke. I can't handle another one. It's a joke I know it. Is it April Fools day today? Fuck its december. god fucking damnit why cant it be april. I crawled into bed and tried not to wake her up. I couldn't get to sleep. Finally she woke up it must have been at least 2 or 3 hours later. She looked at me.
"I saw the tests..."